6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
