Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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