so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
