The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I did not marry a roomba.
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