the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
