marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
