I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
