She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I need moral support for this bender
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
