I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
