She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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