Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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