So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
