I love having hate sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize