The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
