dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
