I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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