just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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