you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Green mimosas i think yes
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
