just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
