AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
