you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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