Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
