At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
