he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
