I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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