She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
