The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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