D3 body, D1 cock
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i came on her dog
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
