somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
