You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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