his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize