Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
