There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
