My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
