You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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