My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
