Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize