having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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