dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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