i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
