Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
