Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
