So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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