im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Farmville is her only friend.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
