he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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