I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
