Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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