Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
