He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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