I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize