I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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