Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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