I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
