He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
