whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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