I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
