hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
