No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
