all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
