one might say we're banned from that church
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
