do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
