if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
