i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize