Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
