Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
