well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This house was built for laser tag.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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