Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Holy shit dude........stairs
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
