omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
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I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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