Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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