Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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