I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
