Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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